Toxic Lesbians?

A person doesn’t have to be a lesbian to be toxic, or be toxic to be a lesbian. But I gotta tell you, when a woman is both, do what you can to steer clear.

I’ve been trying to come up with something to blog about and this one subject keeps coming to mind. Even though it’s in the past, I feel that I need to warn you all, because she’s still out there.

If you’ve read my other posts, you may have read about “Gladys,” my ex-friend who slept with the man and then blamed it all on me? True, that was the end of our friendship, but there was a lot that went on before. So much that, when she decided to dump me as a friend, I didn’t fight it at all. I knew I was better off without her.

Have you ever known a person who is only interested in herself? Telling her own stories, talking about herself incessantly, rarely allowing you to talk about yourself, and never listening when you do? Well, this was Gladys. You may know her, or you may know someone like her.

But, here’s where it gets dangerous. My girlfriend and I lived with Gladys for a while. Gladys had never been able to get me exactly where she wanted me because my will was too strong. However, as soon as we moved in, she set her sights on my girlfriend. We’ll call her “Tate.”

Tate was flattered that Gladys asked her opinion about so many things and involved her in every aspect of her life.

“Come to the store with me.”

“Let’s go to the bar tonight.”

“Come out of your room because I need to talk to someone.”

Once Gladys saw that Tate was responding to all this, she dug deeper;

“We’re family.”

“You’re my BFF.”

“We just connect.”

“You’re awesome. I love you so much.” (Usually this was said drunkenly)

Very quickly, Gladys had Tate under her thumb. Tate would tell me that she was going to the bar with Gladys. “Why?” I’d ask. “You said you wanted to stay in tonight.”

Tate would sigh and shrug and say, “It’s easier to go than to deal with her sh*t.”

And this wasn’t just about going out at night. Tate was dragged into all of the Gladys’ self-created drama, so much so that it became impossible for Tate to make a move without Gladys’ approval. It was hard to watch, I gotta tell you.

Eventually, Tate and I broke up over this. I basically told Tate to choose, and she chose Galdys. This is how strong and toxic Gladys’  hold was on Tate.

I told Tate that she was going to get hurt by Gladys. Tate accused me of being jealous. So, I left and waited.

I won’t bore you with the rest, but suffice it to say that Tate and Gladys have not spoken in months and Tate is so upset that she will have a hard time controlling herself if she and Gladys ever cross paths again.

Why did I write about this? I”m not sure, to be honest. It’s been bugging me, for one thing.

I guess I learned something from this situation and wanted to pass it on to you.

Women are much more emotional than men. As a result, our friendships can be almost as intense as our relationships. I was no different…. until Gladys.

When I saw what she did to Tate, I realized that no matter how much you may care for a friend, they may not be good for you.  The same as when you’re in love with someone, you may not be able to remain in the relationship without getting hurt.

It can be the same way with friends. Don’t let them ruin you. Believe it or not, there are people in the world who will mindlessly ruin your life without even knowing it, because they just don’t care. All they care about is themselves and how you can help them get what they want.

If you’re a lesbian reading this, be careful. Don’t let your friendships get as intense as your relationships. Not only could you lose your relationship, but there’s a good chance you’ll get hurt in the process.