• ISBN13: 9781933771878
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

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Queers in History is the first comprehensive biographical compendium of important historical and contemporary figures who were/are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. From Egyptian pharaohs, Catholic popes and Abraham Lincoln to Bishop Gene Robinson, Neil Patrick Harris and Angelina Jolie, Queers in History brings these figures, from their work to their sexuality, to life. The hundreds of people whose stories appear in this book are some of the most intriguin… More >>

Queers in History: The Comprehensive Encyclopedia of Historical Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals

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Once upon a time, four of your favorite lesbian novelists embarked on a magical journey to bring their favorite fairy tale characters out of the closet and into the sheets. The result is a highly erotic and deliciously tongue-in-cheek collection that brings a whole new meaning to the term “bedtime stories.” Lie back and let these fantasy femmes – and a butch in wonderland – take you deep into the forest, high into castles, and through the looking glass. You

• ISBN13: 9780520260610
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

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The exhortation to “Go West!” has always sparked the American imagination. But for gays, lesbians, and transgendered people, the City of Angels provided a special home and gave rise to one of the most influential gay cultures in the world. Drawing on rare archives and photographs as well as more than three hundred interviews, Lillian Faderman and Stuart Timmons chart L.A.’s unique gay history, from the first missionary encounters with Native American cross-gendered … More >>

Gay L.A.: A History of Sexual Outlaws, Power Politics, and Lipstick Lesbians

• ISBN13: 9780312167813
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

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“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.” When a parent hears these words, the initial shock is often followed by feelings ranging from anger and denial to fear and guilt. It’s also the beginning of a difficult journey that, with understanding and emotional support, can lead to acceptance and beyond.

Now fully revised and updated, Beyond Acceptance is a ground-breaking book that provides parents the comfort and knowledge they need to accept the gay children and build stronger fa… More >>

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences

I’ve been trying to come up with something to blog about and this one subject keeps coming to mind. Even though it’s in the past, I feel that I need to warn you all, because she’s still out there.

If you’ve read my other posts, you may have read about “Gladys,” my ex-friend who slept with the man and then blamed it all on me? True, that was the end of our friendship, but there was a lot that went on before. So much that, when she decided to dump me as a friend, I didn’t fight it at all. I knew I was better off without her.

Have you ever known a person who is only interested in herself? Telling her own stories, talking about herself incessantly, rarely allowing you to talk about yourself, and never listening when you do? Well, this was Gladys. You may know her, or you may know someone like her.

But, here’s where it gets dangerous. My girlfriend and I lived with Gladys for a while. Gladys had never been able to get me exactly where she wanted me because my will was too strong. However, as soon as we moved in, she set her sights on my girlfriend. We’ll call her “Tate.”

Tate was flattered that Gladys asked her opinion about so many things and involved her in every aspect of her life.

“Come to the store with me.”

“Let’s go to the bar tonight.”

“Come out of your room because I need to talk to someone.”

Once Gladys saw that Tate was responding to all this, she dug deeper;

“We’re family.”

“You’re my BFF.”

“We just connect.”

“You’re awesome. I love you so much.” (Usually this was said drunkenly)

Very quickly, Gladys had Tate under her thumb. Tate would tell me that she was going to the bar with Gladys. “Why?” I’d ask. “You said you wanted to stay in tonight.”

Tate would sigh and shrug and say, “It’s easier to go than to deal with her sh*t.”

And this wasn’t just about going out at night. Tate was dragged into all of the Gladys’ self-created drama, so much so that it became impossible for Tate to make a move without Gladys’ approval. It was hard to watch, I gotta tell you.

Eventually, Tate and I broke up over this. I basically told Tate to choose, and she chose Galdys. This is how strong and toxic Gladys’  hold was on Tate.

I told Tate that she was going to get hurt by Gladys. Tate accused me of being jealous. So, I left and waited.

I won’t bore you with the rest, but suffice it to say that Tate and Gladys have not spoken in months and Tate is so upset that she will have a hard time controlling herself if she and Gladys ever cross paths again.

Why did I write about this? I”m not sure, to be honest. It’s been bugging me, for one thing.

I guess I learned something from this situation and wanted to pass it on to you.

Women are much more emotional than men. As a result, our friendships can be almost as intense as our relationships. I was no different…. until Gladys.

When I saw what she did to Tate, I realized that no matter how much you may care for a friend, they may not be good for you.  The same as when you’re in love with someone, you may not be able to remain in the relationship without getting hurt.

It can be the same way with friends. Don’t let them ruin you. Believe it or not, there are people in the world who will mindlessly ruin your life without even knowing it, because they just don’t care. All they care about is themselves and how you can help them get what they want.

If you’re a lesbian reading this, be careful. Don’t let your friendships get as intense as your relationships. Not only could you lose your relationship, but there’s a good chance you’ll get hurt in the process.

Even I, just recently found out that my best friend and I had both been dumped by our girlfriends, in the same year, for the same woman! (You know this bi*ch gets around.)

It’s true, the bar scene is getting smaller and smaller in Orange County, and as a result, meeting people gets harder and harder. But ladies, please!

The scenario usually goes something like this:

I meet girl A at the bar. We start talking, asking questions about each other, and it turns out that she used to date girl B who lives with girl C, that just broke up with girl D. And to top it off, girl A is now living with girl D.

It’s close to impossible to keep it all straight.

It reminds me of seventh grade. Every day you’d go to school to find out who was “going around” with who. By the end of the year, the “popular” kids had all “gone around” with each other for at least a day.

But, that was junior high! This is the real adult world. All this “relationship hopping” is indicative of serious issues, in my opinion.

It bugs me because, seriously, how can we expect the powers that be to take  us seriously and grant us the same rights as the hetero’s when they see us acting like this?

On the other hand, can you imagine the money the county would make off of the lesbian divorces alone?

First, if you were at this party, don’t stop me because you already know what happened.

So, I’m at this party, the same one I wrote about earlier. Anyway, I was sitting with a group of about 10 women when someone suggested we play “Truth or Dare.” Needless to say, this was late in the evening and everyone was feeling, well, silly.

Now, even though I, too, was feeling silly, I did have the presence of mind to warn everyone that this could be dangerous and maybe we shouldn’t play. Of course, no one listened and we played.

I’d also like to mention, before I tell you what happened, that playing this game was all Gladys’ idea. Okay?

After a while, it is my turn. I don’t know what to ask or who to choose. I haven’t played this game in over 20 years! But, I think and think and I finally come up with something.

I knew that Gladys had met a guy at a bar the week before and took him home. I know because I was there. And, the next morning, she confirmed to me that they had slept together.

So, I asked Gladys, “Truth or dare, have you slept with a man in the last 30 days?” Funny, right?

Apparently not. I got a look that came close to hatred from Galdys as she said a very emphatic “NO.”

Me, being a little buzzed, and remember, feeling silly, said “No, you have to tell the truth. This was your idea.”

So, she admitted that yes, she had, and the game continued. It wasn’t until about an hour later that I noticed Gladys hadn’t said anything to me and that every time I looked at her, she was glaring at me. When I asked her about it near the keg, she was pissed and told me so. She was angry, very angry, that I had let everyone know what she did.

Hmmm.

Okay, I admit it. It probably wasn’t the best question I could have asked, but it was the first thing that popped into my head and I wasn’t really thinking about what I was asking. I was just happy that I had thought of something to ask.

But, even if I was somewhat indiscreet in my question, is it my fault that she did something that she was that ashamed of? And then told me about it afterward? No, I do not think it was.

The way I see it, and this is how I live my life, if I do something that I’m ashamed of, that’s on me. And, if I tell someone that I did it, well then, that’s on me too. I mean, if it was that bad, why did she do it in the first place?

Gladys has not spoken to me since then, except for a couple of times when our paths crossed and she told me how she was still mad at me.

I have heard from Gladys’ roommate that she has slept with numerous men since then, including the fiance of one of her friends. So, the way I see it, Gladys is mad at herself and she needed to direct that anger at someone other than herself.

But, to cut me off for good? Someone who has been her friend for four years? And then, continue doing the very thing that she was so mad about?

And that’s why I say, never trust a lesbian who sleeps with a man.

I met a woman through some friends last summer and I’ve seen her a few times since then. Not “dating” her, just seen her at a bar and a party.

This woman has recently moved here from New Jersey and each of the three times I’ve seen her, she complains to anyone who will listen about how there’s “too much drama” in California.

That’s cool. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? Until….

The last time I saw this woman, at a friend’s party, I witnessed her creating the very drama that she professes to detest.

A friend and I were sitting at the party, enjoying some good dish about another friend. Just some friendly gossip, no big deal.

The New Jersey woman walks up to us, listens to us talking for about 12 seconds, uninvited mind you, gives us both a look of disgust and says, “I don’t do drama. I don’t want to know about this.” She turns and walks into the house. My friend and I just raised our eyebrows at each other, and continued talking.

A few minutes later, I walk into the house to get another drink and I hear New Jersey talking to a group of three women. “I don’t need the drama outside. Blank and blank were talking sh*t about blank.”

Are you kidding me?

The way I see it, if she really didn’t “want to deal with our drama” she would have walked away from us and not mentioned it to anyone. From what I heard that night, this was not the only group she told about us gossiping. She apparently told anyone who she could corner into listening to her.

This word “drama” gets used too loosely in my opinion, and for this very reason. Because those who claim to hate it are usually the ones ensconced in it.

Let it be on the record; I don’t mind “drama.”  (Especially when it’s someone else’s. LOL) Life is full of it. We can’t avoid it, especially as lesbians. But, if I did hate it, I’d do everything I could to avoid it. Like I do with brussels sprouts and men.

Maybe it’s the republican influence. I’m not sure, but it’s true. Our community is small. And believe it or not, in this case small means big drama.

Apparently when you’ve got a bunch of women sleeping with all of the same women, it creates a lot of drama.

When I first came out, about 9 years ago, there were 4 girl-bars in OC. You had a choice. But now, as of the writing of this post, there are none. Zero. Our last one, In Cahoots in Fullerton that gave us Sunday’s only, stopped about six months ago. And there is one in Anaheim, The Rio, that tolerates us on Karaoke night. There are a few in nearby Long Beach and the other way, in Riverside.

But somehow, whether by design or not, there are no more bars in OC.

And that makes it kinda hard, you know? I mean, it’s bad enough that even with the internet, gays and lesbians are forced to hang out in bars because they’re the only places we can be ourselves without running the risk of being beat up, or at the very least, having comments made by those around us. But, I digress…..

So, if you’re a lesbian in Orange County, you most likely hang out in bars in Long Beach or Riverside. And since there are so few of us, you’ve most likely met me, or at least seen me. And I’ve seen you. We may have even dated, or made out in the parking lot on a night at The Happy Hour when we both drank too much.

But, the interesting thing, the point that makes the “Real Lesbians Of Orange County” is the fact that there are so few of us that pretty much anyone you meet has slept with one of your exes. Or you’ve slept with one or two of hers. And because of this, things are never dull for long.

So, keep coming back and reading. I’ll be reporting on what goes on. Don’t be surprised if you read about yourself here. It could easily happen……